It goes without saying that our ever-increasing immersion into the worlds of digital technology and social media have radically altered the ways in which humans communicate. Take the emoji, for example: with the release of iOS X 10.7 Lion, these pictographic neu-hieroglyphs made an inextricable splash in the cultural lexicon. Three parts universal symbols for cultural exchange, one part Newspeak, these adorable ornaments now adorn everything from iMessages to artworks, providing anyone with a smartphone an even easier way to say, "Octopus."
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In yesterday's as-of-yet unparalleled announcement, the shadowy gatekeepers behind the original set of emoji (known only as the Unicode Consortium), have announced The Unicode Standard 7.0, an anxiously-awaited update on their existing glossary of symbols. Adding, "Approximately 250 emoji (pictographic symbols), many other symbols, and 23 new lesser-used and historic scripts, as well as character additions to many existing scripts," it’s the 2.0+ equivalent of Merriam-Webster adding 250 new words to the dictionary.Present in The Unicode Standard 7.0 are the incredibly useful symbols for, "Thermometer," "Hot Pepper," and the most sought-after emoji in history, "Reversed Hand With Middle Finger Extended." Also present are less apparently-useful characters including, "Mantelpiece Clock," "Left Hand Telephone Receiver," and "Trackball."In anticipation of the July arrival of the new 250, we've compiled a list of the most cryptic and poetic emoji descriptions, along with some suggestions as to when & why one might use 'em. Keep in mind, this is strictly speculation:
Speaking Head In Silhouette - Because what better describes the all-seeing spectres of absent figureheads like Castro and Chavez than an image from The Testament of Dr. Mabuse?Heart With Tip On The Left - Is it a spiked tip? Relationship advice? Or 15%, before taxes? This one's for lovers with more to say than "I love you."Beamed Descending Musical Notes - Because what better way to group message news of the impending Rapture than a pictographic representation ripped straight from The Book of Revelation?
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Derelict House Building - Either "don't come over, my house is a mess," or, "this warehouse party could literally be anywhere."Black Rosette - Nothing says, "Sure, I earned these military accolades, but I ain't proud of 'em," like the darkened image of this stylized flower decal.No Piracy - In the Age of Information, somebody's gotta take the stand against thieves of intellectual property. We're hoping this one includes an eye patch and a bandana, because, seriously.Man In Business Suit Levitating - Either an allusion to Fellini's most famous dream sequence, or the perfect description of Nietzsche's Übermensch. This one screams "Life, 2.0+."Sleuth Or Spy - A very obscure homage to Paul Auster, this 2014 update to "Spy vs. Spy" screams NSA Surveillance.Three Networked Computers - Perhaps the easiest way to tell your friends, "That is soTranscendence."Compression - Strictly for fans of Silicon Valley.Slightly Smiling Face - Because sometimes you're not that happy. Now they know it.Slightly Frowning Face - Same as above, but you'll come around.Hollow Quilt Square Ornament In Black Square - If Sol Lewitt painted Malevich, this emoji is the perfect symbol for, "I'm gonna answer your (unanswerable) question with another (unanswerable) question."Very Heavy Solidus - Because, eventually, Yeezus will say something along the lines of, "Got coin-money like the Ancient Romans."Notched Right Semicircle With Three Dots - Our guess is as good as yours.
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Speaking Head In Silhouette - Because what better describes the all-seeing spectres of absent figureheads like Castro and Chavez than an image from The Testament of Dr. Mabuse?Heart With Tip On The Left - Is it a spiked tip? Relationship advice? Or 15%, before taxes? This one's for lovers with more to say than "I love you."Beamed Descending Musical Notes - Because what better way to group message news of the impending Rapture than a pictographic representation ripped straight from The Book of Revelation?Derelict House Building - Either "don't come over, my house is a mess," or, "this warehouse party could literally be anywhere."Black Rosette - Nothing says, "Sure, I earned these military accolades, but I ain't proud of 'em," like the darkened image of this stylized flower decal.No Piracy - In the Age of Information, somebody's gotta take the stand against thieves of intellectual property. We're hoping this one includes an eye patch and a bandana, because, seriously.Man In Business Suit Levitating - Either an allusion to Fellini's most famous dream sequence, or the perfect description of Nietzsche's Übermensch. This one screams "Life, 2.0+."Sleuth Or Spy - A very obscure homage to Paul Auster, this 2014 update to "Spy vs. Spy" screams NSA Surveillance.Three Networked Computers - Perhaps the easiest way to tell your friends, "That is so Transcendence."Compression - Strictly for fans of Silicon Valley.Slightly Smiling Face - Because sometimes you're not that happy. Now they know it.Slightly Frowning Face - Same as above, but you'll come around.Hollow Quilt Square Ornament In Black Square - If Sol Lewitt painted Malevich, this emoji is the perfect symbol for, "I'm gonna answer your (unanswerable) question with another (unanswerable) question."Very Heavy Solidus - Because, eventually, Yeezus will say something along the lines of, "Got coin-money like the Ancient Romans."Notched Right Semicircle With Three Dots - Our guess is as good as yours.