Everything You Know About 'Fallout 3' Is a Lie

For the past six years, hapless Fallout 3 players have been living in a world of lies, riding the metro train in the game's Broken Steel add-on without a care in the post-apoclyptic world. But what they didn't know was literally lurking under the surface all along: they weren't on the train—they were the train. Hold onto your helmets, people.

While it may look like your routine video game vehicle, upon entering the metro, the player is actually forced into wearing a "train hat." Thanks to programming workarounds, "riding" is just an illusion: inside the hefty accessory, which goes on the player like a piece of armor, the look and feel of locomotion is a special camera animation, adjusted to first-person perspective. There is no spoon, Neo.

For some, the revelation comes with something of a "Santa's actually been your parents the whole time" vibe. The alleged originator of the discovery, gamer Trainwiz, published his find over four months ago on his personal Tumblr, but it didn't come to light until a visualization of the hack was shared just two days ago.

Reactions have ranged from accusations of lazy deceitfulness on the part Bethesda, the game's developer, to disseminated misinterpretations and alternate NPC theories. To these naysayers and nonbelievers, however, Trainwiz writes, "[The] people saying that this is somehow the fault of the engine or lazy, you guys are also pretty stupid. These kinds of solutions make up the bulk of game development. It's a clever, bug free solution that works brilliantly, even if it's only able to be used in one area. It's not like they're gonna waste time coding up a big system for running trains. Especially given Fallout 3's… unfortunate trig functions."

In other news, Fallout 4 is in the works, promising unmatched open world detailing and plenty of material for whistleblowing, late-to-the-game Redditors. Hear 'em roar.

Read up on the "train hat" debate on Reddit.

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