If you had as many muscles as Terry Crews, it would behoove you to do something constructive with them, and I don’t mean playing football or lecturing the child version of Chris Rock on money matters. To really put those muscles to good use, Old Spice took a page out of the Daito Manabe playbook and virtually fitted every detail of Crews’ brawn to sensors that trigger percussion instruments, creating a one-man band not unlike the “Monkey Drummer” Chris Cunningham made for Aphex Twin.
The really sweet thing about this one though is that, once you watch the video, you can use your keyboard to trigger the instruments via Crews’ muscles, creating your own song—play Terry Crews like an instrument! Be careful though. This thing could end up sucking up the rest of your work day. And even if you put on your most serious face, hearing you tapping away rhythmically at your keyboard is a dead giveaway. Either way, you won’t be able to resist, so just go for it already.
Only one problem. I made at least five totally mind-blowingly incredible beats with this, quite possibly the finest beats ever made by a person, but unfortunately the record function doesn’t work, so no one will ever hear them. You’ll have to take my word on how truly earth-shattering they were.