Ah, I love my millennial morning. I wake up, check my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Weather, Horoscope, and WebMD for that weird red spot that's still on my head. Then, I proceed to eat my oatmeal while checking other distracting things on my phone. And, of course, while I drink my OJ I take a selfie of my half-asleep face.Thankfully The Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation is aware of the need to take a morning selfie (especially if my hair looks good, or my clothing choice is on point), and has made Toasted Selfies, a machine that prints selfies, or any other image of your choosing, onto your morning slice of whole wheat.
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The novelty device offers the perfect chance to truly integrated that morning pic into your routine, but why stop at eating a photo of yourself? We’ve brainstormed a few extra options of familiar faces you can and should eat in the morning, thanks to this wonderful technology.
1) Eat Yourself
Looking good this morning? Really digest this self-love with a picture of yourself looking your best on your morning toast and scarf it down. Note: this is the best way to see how you'd look with a tan.
2) Al Roker (or any weather forecaster)
What do you do if the weather forecast says it is going to be a beautiful day, then right as you are coming back from work a terrible downpour joins your commute home? How can you really get back at Roker or other meteorologist? Now, you can eat a picture of the weatherman who made a promise he couldn't keep.
3) Cap’n Crunch
Every morning you see the good ‘ol Cap’n with the biggest smile on his face. Why is he so energetic? Is he having a sugar rush from his own cereal? Tone him down a peg by eating him, hat and all.
4) Toast
If you are having a particularly existential morning, try doubling your toast dosage by printing an image of a piece of toast on your toast. You get to eat two pieces for the same caloric value as one. Meta-toast is truly a next-level meal.
5) Richard Prince
As we recently covered, the legendary appropriation artist has been making prints of other people's Instagram photos. Why not give him a taste of his own medicine and appropriate him (or his Instagram page). Let him know that two can play this game, all while you eat your delicious toast.
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