Chronic Painting: Making Art from Endometriosis

'Endometriosis—excision' (2016). All images courtesy of the artist

Adelaide-based painter Ellie Kammer suffers from endometriosis—an incredibly common but under-researched gynecological disease that leads to long term chronic pain. Her experiences have inspired a visceral series of artworks that she hopes will create more awareness of the illness, as well as help fellow sufferers to relate and share their stories.

Kammer has lived with endometriosis for almost a decade. “I was diagnosed with in December 2015 when I had my first laparoscopic surgery, though I’ve been living with the disease for about eight years now,” she explains. “When it was first mentioned to me I hadn’t heard of it. Around one in ten women suffer with it and yet I didn’t even know how to pronounce it.”

'Endometriosis—shadowed' (2016)

Adjusting to the painful illness—which occurs when the same cells found in a woman’s uterine lining are found elsewhere in the body, for reasons that still baffle researchers—has been a long and arduous process. “My first surgery was brutal. I took a long time to recover, had shockingly painful periods for months afterwards, and I was really downtrodden. I had a very hard time accepting that the discomfort of this disease would be with me for the rest of my life, and that took its toll on me mentally,” Kammer says.

Even worse than the physical pain, which is accompanied by extreme fatigue and difficulty menstruating, is the lack of understanding from those who don’t suffer from or are unfamiliar with the disease. “When I first was diagnosed I started isolating myself because I felt that no one could relate to me,” Kammer explains. “It soon dawned on me that it wasn't that my family and friends didn’t care, they just didn’t understand, so I resolved to make it my business to shine a great big offensive spotlight on endometriosis as a gynaecological illness.”

Which is exactly what she’s done, by creating a series of confronting but gorgeous works depicting anguished women uncomfortable within their own bodies. “As soon as I had recovered I painted Endometriosis (Coagulate) and everything fell into place when I made that image,” says Kammer. “I felt an unparalleled euphoria when I was producing it and suddenly found myself with a strong sense of purpose and direction. I’ve just been riding the wave ever since. I’m not going to lie, it is bloody difficult to have a disease that comes with chronic pain and puts me in hospital every other week, but it has also given me an amazing sense of clarity about what kind of woman I want to be, what kind of work I want to produce, what I believe in and what I dedicate my time to. Unexpectedly, in many ways I’m grateful I have the disease.”

She hopes that her artworks will, at the very least, raise awareness. The history of endometriosis is rather gendered—for decades, many doctors refused to acknowledge that it was a real illness, instead blaming its symptoms on female hysteria. “My intention with this series was to inspire people who had never heard of endometriosis to perhaps Google it and have a bit of a read,” says Kammer. “The response I’ve gotten has been completely overwhelming. Of course I do get ripped on occasionally and my social media posts are frequently reported but that doesn’t bother me—a little stir generally furthers conversation amongst my followers so the haters unwittingly do me a favour.”

The paintings have greatly helped Kammer’s fellow endo victims. “Recently fans of my work started commenting on my Instagram posts, sharing their own experiences with endometriosis, and then they started to send me emails and private messages detailing their horrific relationships with it. It really moved me to see these powerful and brave women share such private experiences with me and my other followers…I feel honoured and truly touched that I’ve been able to inspire conversations about something that desperately needs more attention,” she says.

She’s also experienced immense catharsis herself. “For me, painting is a huge part of healing and coping with the physical and especially mental turmoil of living with a chronic and incurable condition,” she explains. “Having an invisible disease often lands you in a pretty frustrating conversation about how maybe it’s all in your head. More than once I’ve been told that the pain is probably manifesting because I’m focusing on it too much.”

You can find out more about Ellie Kammer’s work here, and follow her on Instagram. She has a solo exhibition of works opening at Adelaide’s Light Square Gallery on July 6.

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